Kids Say the Darndest Things

Thank you Lex for another episode of "Kids Say the Darndest Things".

Being a mom is soooo flippin' hard some days. My children truly are a blessing, but some days they make me want to pull my hair out. Fortunately for my children, they are quick-witted and are willing to put me in my place when I need it and give me stories to tell that make me laugh.

I had taken the boys out on Saturday for 100's errands. Swim lessons, basketball game, grocery shopping, car cleaning, passport renewal, pharmacy pickup, your name it.... Finally a haircut for Jonny. Whew! It was about 2:00 in the afternoon and it had been an exceptionally stressful morning.

Lex, usually the quieter of my two boys, was talking nonstop. Not good talk, the talk that drives most moms crazy. He is talking about farts, and butts, and Sponge Bob, and banishing all cootie girls to the woods. I repeatedly tell him to talk nice. I don't know what has gotten into him. "We don't talk like that." I say. "Clean it up, Lex" I remind him. Finally, (I can't even remember what gross thing he said) I snap and yell at him!

"That is it!!! Lex, when we get home I am going to wash your mouth out with soap! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!"

Lex is obviously deeply concerned. He is usually my angel and rarely needs discipline. He has been sent to time-out maybe twice in his lifetime. Anyhow, we get to the salon and Jonny goes with the stylist to get his haircut. As I mentioned, it is Saturday afternoon and the salon is packed. We are waiting in the lobby and I bet there are 10-12 people sitting around. Lex stands up and says, loudly enough for EVERYONE to hear, "Alright, Mom. Let's get it over with. There is a sink in the back. Let's go wash my mouth out with soap." A lady sitting on the other side of the room chokes trying not to laugh. All 10 people in the waiting room have smug smiles on their faces. Oh man....Lex!?! NO! Thanks alot. I tell him that we will handle it when we get home and proceed to cover my face with this week's People Magazine.

(Note: He did not get his mouth washed out with soap. I have never washed his mouth out with soap (yet). And, if he knows what soap tastes like it is his own doing and not mine. LOL )