Lex-Isms Part 1

I need to start adding Jonny & Lex-isms to this blog. I swear there is not a single day that goes by that my beautiful children do not have me in stitches. Some kids are silly; mine are outrageous!

Since I am lazy and haven't blogged in 10 months, if anyone wants to type funny stories about my kids and email them to me....That would be great! Then I can just cut & paste to my blog. :P

Jonny:
For the first 7-8 years of his life Jonny had convinced himself that he was black.

It is January, right after Martin Luther King Day & we live two doors down from the Barnums. The Barnums have 4 children of mixed/African descent. And, even though I have the coloring of Snow White, I gave birth to a child with beautiful milk-chocolatey brown skin. In fact, during the summer my little son is significantly darker than his playmates.

Anyhow, being the busy mom that I am, I pick up Jonny from school and immediately start telling Jonny all of the things we have do to that day. I tell Jonny that when we get home I need his help. I tell him that I want to him take the clean towels out of the dryer, fold them, and put them away. (This is a task that any 6-7 year old should be capable of doing).

A huge sigh comes from the back seat. This huge sigh is followed by the comment, "She's right...". Followed by another HUGE sigh. Then another comment, "It's just like my teacher said..."

Okay, I play along, "What did your teacher say?"

Jonny: "My teacher said that the white people used to take the colored people and make them their slaves!!!"

Umm?? Did my 6 year old just accuse me of slave labor? WOW...that just GREAT!!

Alex:
Taking Lex to Target is usually uneventful. He usually begs for a $0.99 toy and I usually give in because he is sooooo darn cute!!! Well, one particular trip to Target that stands out VIVIDLY in my mind. It is the time we had a cashier with a DD-cup size!

Our cashier was obviously surgically enhanced/augmented. Her boobs where GINORMOUS! Lex is obviuosly facinated. I can see it on his face... he is staring, thinking, pondering, questioning. How come her boobs are sooo huge. Trust me, it is bad enough when your little boy is staring at someone....You want to tap them and tell them not be rude and not to stare. But, what Lex did was the ultimate in parental embarassment. Out of his mouth, I joke you not, "HEY LADY, why do you have those balloons under your shirt?"

Ummm, yeah. Mommy can only blush and swipe the debit card as fast as possible. I did not dare to make eye contact. I just got outta there as fast as possible...precious little monster in tote.