Alyson Takes The Boys Out For Doughnuts

Yesterday Alyson & Jake picked up Jonny and Lex from school. They surprised them by not going directly home after school, but going to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts. The boys were thrilled. The workers were making fresh/hot doughnuts and they watched them in the proofer area (Lex's favorite part). They were hungry so they bought a dozen and ate all they could. On the way home they were talking about how many doughnuts they had eaten. The score was Alyson 2, Lex 2, Jake 3, Jonny 4. Jonny said, "I live by the doughnut law... EAT THEM ALL!" The reason that this is so hilarious is because Jonny is the skinniest one of the entire family and was able to out eat them all because he lives the "doughnut law".

Laundry, Simplified!

I guest I am constantly on Lex to pick up his dirty laundry and put it into the laundry hamper. I have no idea why he can not manage to carry it 3 feet from the center of his room to his laundry hamper. I will never forget the day when I went into his room to find all of his dirty laundry placed into the hamper, but the hamper was sitting in middle of the room.

"Lex, why is your hamper in the middle of the room?"

"Why not, Mom? It's going to end up there anyway."

Touche.

Environmental Issues

Tonight- Jonny went to see Beauty & The Beast at the High School with the Stuart family tonight. It was just me & Lex. Lex wasn't feeling well, but we decided to take a trip to the mall anyway. This basically how our conversation went....

Amber, "Lex, how are you feeling?"

Lex, "I am feeling that we should do something about the smoke going into the air. It is causing global warming and I want it to stop. I really like penguins."

What? If I wasn't in the driver's seat of my car I would have fallen out of my chair. Is my 7 year old really trying to have a discussion on global warming with me? I call Mom and tell her to remember the story for me so that I can write it down. No sooner than I hang up with Mom when Lex comes up with an even better solution!!

"Mom, how about if we find some way to keep the smoke in Utah. Then maybe this place with warm up and my little penguin friends will be able to keep their polar ice hats." (I think he was trying to talk about polar ice "caps".) Precious!!

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This wasn't Lex's first desire to save the environment from smoke. Awhile ago we went shopping. Lex saw some of the employees standing outside of the entrance smoking on their break. Lex decided to shout at the top of his lungs to them, "Smoking takes 7 minutes off your life!!!" Thanks Lex, now maybe one of them will quit.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

Grandma Cindy, Jonny, Lex, and I went to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts the other day after dinner. Warm doughnuts are always a yummy treat!

Lex insisted on pressing his face to the glass and watching the doughnuts go ALL the way through the production line. First, he stared at the dough mixers. Then, he watched the dough go through the machine that cuts it into doughnuts. Next, he marveled at the doughnuts as they fried in hot oil. Finally, he watched the doughnuts as they are dripped into the warm glaze and one is handed directly to him as it comes out of the machine.

Lex stands at the end of the production line and sighs, "OH... they just grow up so fast."

Mom, My Brain Hurts...

This story is a couple of months old. I believe from the end of September 2008. Lex is 7 years old and in the 2nd Grade. Lex and I were traveling in the car. I can't remember where exactly were were going, but I do remember that I will drilling on Lex on his Spelling words for school.

"Lex, can you spell SPACE?" I say.
"S-P-A-C-E," Lex relies.
"Okay, spell TRACE", I continue.
"T-R-A-C-E".

This continues for 10-15 spelling words. Each time I get to a stop sign or a stop light I look into the rear-view mirror and give Lex a smile. He smiles back from the backseat. I can tell by the way that his spelling is getting slower and slower though that he is getting bored with this spelling game.

Finally, we reach a stop sign and Lex gets all dramatic. He pretends to take off a an imaginary hat or helmet. "Okay, enough! My thinking cap is off...I'M DONE."

Geez. I was only trying to help. I never told him he had to use his "thinking cap." LOL

Copy Cats

Today, November 10, 2008- It has been a LONG day at work. I just went to my mom's house to pick up the boys. As I walked into my mom's house I grabed a Coke Zero out of the fridge. Mmmm... tasty.

Lex asks me, "Mom, can I have a soda?"

"No, it's too late for you to have one." (It was about 7:30pm & I don't like the boys drinking soda! Sugar in the evening is pretty much forbidden.)

Lex replies, "But, Jonny has one."

I turn to Jonny, "What do you think you are doing? You didn't ask permission for that soda."

Jonny replies, "Monkey see...monkey do."

What a BRAT! My devious little 10 year old using my own soda against me. :P

Another Lex-ism

Children think we adults know everything. Lex is no exception.

This happened when Lex was about 5 years old. (2 years ago)

One morning, Lex & I went to McDonald's. I turned to Lex in the car and asked him what he would like me to order for him. Lex declared that the only thing on the menu he would eat was a cheeseburger.

Great, I thought to myself. It is 9 in the morning. McDonald's is not going to make him a cheese burger, but maybe a Sausage McMuffin is close enough. He likes those. We pull up to the menu to place our order. The woman working the Drive-Thru comes on the speaker, "Welcome to McDonald's, May I help You?" Seriously...this chick working the window has the THICKEST Latino accent I have probably ever heard in my life.

I tell her, "Yes, I would like to order two sausage burritos & a sausage McMuffin."

Alex declares to me proudly, "Burritos and a Sausage McMuffin?? Wow mom, I didn't know you spoke Spanish." LOL. Yeah, in Lex's world "Sausage McMuffin" is Spanish for cheeseburger. :P

Jonny's New Socks

Grandma Cindy bought Jonny a new pair of socks. In fact, they are his new favorite pair of socks. They are gray and black athletic socks. The socks are warm, cozy, cushioned, and even have the letter L on them to indicate that they are "Large".

The socks only have one small problem. The first time that Jonny wore them, he slid his feet into his shoes, and then scratched his head.

Jonny (very seriously): "Mom, I think I may have my socks on the wrong feet, but I can't find any "R"s."

Thanks a lot Grandma... You only bought the left ones.

Lex-Isms Part 1

I need to start adding Jonny & Lex-isms to this blog. I swear there is not a single day that goes by that my beautiful children do not have me in stitches. Some kids are silly; mine are outrageous!

Since I am lazy and haven't blogged in 10 months, if anyone wants to type funny stories about my kids and email them to me....That would be great! Then I can just cut & paste to my blog. :P

Jonny:
For the first 7-8 years of his life Jonny had convinced himself that he was black.

It is January, right after Martin Luther King Day & we live two doors down from the Barnums. The Barnums have 4 children of mixed/African descent. And, even though I have the coloring of Snow White, I gave birth to a child with beautiful milk-chocolatey brown skin. In fact, during the summer my little son is significantly darker than his playmates.

Anyhow, being the busy mom that I am, I pick up Jonny from school and immediately start telling Jonny all of the things we have do to that day. I tell Jonny that when we get home I need his help. I tell him that I want to him take the clean towels out of the dryer, fold them, and put them away. (This is a task that any 6-7 year old should be capable of doing).

A huge sigh comes from the back seat. This huge sigh is followed by the comment, "She's right...". Followed by another HUGE sigh. Then another comment, "It's just like my teacher said..."

Okay, I play along, "What did your teacher say?"

Jonny: "My teacher said that the white people used to take the colored people and make them their slaves!!!"

Umm?? Did my 6 year old just accuse me of slave labor? WOW...that just GREAT!!

Alex:
Taking Lex to Target is usually uneventful. He usually begs for a $0.99 toy and I usually give in because he is sooooo darn cute!!! Well, one particular trip to Target that stands out VIVIDLY in my mind. It is the time we had a cashier with a DD-cup size!

Our cashier was obviously surgically enhanced/augmented. Her boobs where GINORMOUS! Lex is obviuosly facinated. I can see it on his face... he is staring, thinking, pondering, questioning. How come her boobs are sooo huge. Trust me, it is bad enough when your little boy is staring at someone....You want to tap them and tell them not be rude and not to stare. But, what Lex did was the ultimate in parental embarassment. Out of his mouth, I joke you not, "HEY LADY, why do you have those balloons under your shirt?"

Ummm, yeah. Mommy can only blush and swipe the debit card as fast as possible. I did not dare to make eye contact. I just got outta there as fast as possible...precious little monster in tote.